


Whose Dick Do I Have To Suck Around Here To Suck Some Dick?

by drunkraiinbow



Series: Jason Todd Month 2019 [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Capes, Asexual Character, Awkward Flirting, Bars and Pubs, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Fluff, LITERALLY, M/M, Misunderstandings, Netflix and Chill, Police Officer Dick Grayson, silly crop top
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-11 10:56:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20545010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drunkraiinbow/pseuds/drunkraiinbow
Summary: Jason didn't know that wearing a silly crop top could change his whole life. Seems like there's still a lot to learn for him.





	Whose Dick Do I Have To Suck Around Here To Suck Some Dick?

**Author's Note:**

> For the September: Fashion | <strike>High School</strike> prompt of the [Jason Todd Month](https://jasontoddmonth.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.  
Based on a tumblr prompt I can't find anymore.  
Beta-read by [GavotteAndGigue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GavotteAndGigue/)

If he had to describe himself, Richard Grayson wouldn't say he showed much interest in nightclubs and bars. He was a Police Officer in Blüdhaven and spent most of his nights patrolling in the streets, stopping bar fights and thugs and underage drinking. 

Dick saw a lot during his shifts and when he got off work, he was glad to come home to his small but cosy apartment, put on some music and watch a few shows before falling asleep on the couch. Sometimes, he would wake up after a while and drag himself to the bedroom, but more often than not, he woke up on the couch when the first rays of sunshine stroked over his face. 

So, Dick didn't exactly enjoy going out and having fun in a nightclub, but today, he was making an exception for his best friend and colleague Conner Kent. Conner was single again after all; that needed to be celebrated. 

At least that was the official reason. Dick was convinced that Conner just wanted to get wasted and had decided to bring Dick and the newbie, Wally West, with him (who was buzzing next to Dick after just one vodka energy). 

Dick raised a brow, gripping Wally's shoulder firmly to get the redhead's attention. Wally looked down at him with a cute smile.

"Everything okay?" Dick asked over the music. 

"Hm, what?" Wally replied und stared at Dick with confusion in his eyes. 

"You seem pretty tense," Dick shrugged and blew his cheeks. Cute but not very attentive. So not Dick's type.

"Oh, no," Wally shook his head and grinned, head nodding to the dancefloor a second later. "I'm excited. Just need to find a hot man and I'll be out of your hair." 

"'s all good," Dick told him and got back to the coke he was currently drinking. 

They were still standing at the bar in the back, watching the crowd and waiting for something to happen. With Wally about to join the dancefloor, Dick would lose Conner pretty soon as well – though Conner was more likely to disappear to the toilets of the darkroom, enjoying anonymous pleasure instead of the unsatisfying heat of the dancefloor. 

That also meant Dick would stay at the bar resisting the alcohol and turning down fuck-requests until someone (special, hot, beautiful or just lucky) managed to convince him in the end anyway. Sounded like a plan, right?

Standing between his colleagues, Dick turned his body towards the crowd and leaned against the counter, the bottle of coke still in his hand. His gaze wandered over the dancing people, checking out tonight's offering. A few brunettes standing together in a group, a platinum blonde boy with amazing abs, an elderly man with gray hair but broad shoulders who seemed like he trained daily.

Dick was sure that the man was a real snack, but he was all in for redheads. Like the man just walking to the edge of the dancefloor observing the crowd curiously. Long hair in a messy but sexy man-bun, huge biceps and a trained body, as far as the tank top would let Dick speculate, and big hands. 

He was dressed in a weird mix of black and orange, but who was Dick to judge while he wore a plain white t-shirt and tight jeans with a plaid shirt slung around his hips. Not to mention the sneakers he had put on in the absence of actual cool boots that weren't his work boots.

Dick almost didn't catch how Wally got pulled away by a tall man with tattoos wrapping around his arms. Wally waved happily in their direction and disappeared into the crowd. 

With a snort, Dick sipped on his coke, straw missing his lips accidentally at first. Great. Not even drinking could look cool on him.

"Our baby's growing up so fast," Dick said mockingly and turned his face to give Conner a short smile. "You got one already?" 

"I do," Conner replied with a smirk, eyes switching back and forth between Dick and a few other people. He grinned. 

"What?" Dick grumbled. 

Now, Conner laughed. "Turn around, slowly. There's a guy dressed in just  _ the _ top, right next to a fucking hottie. He's a perfect match for you, equally in fashion style and bad puns."

Following the direction of Conner's gaze, it was fairly easy to find the boy his colleague was referring to, and damn, if Dick had been lusting over the redhead before, his panties were about to hit the ground hard now. 

Dick bit his lip. "Think I should… say something?" 

"Hell yeah," Conner agreed. "I'll take his friend, separate them and you do your thing. Just like we've learned." 

"I'm sure our teacher at the Police School would be proud of us tonight," Dick snickered but made a first step in the man's direction. "Get him, tiger." 

Conner gave him a wink before he walked towards his target and left Dick behind him.

Dick watched his friend for a few seconds, saw him leaning forward and whispering into the man's ear, but turned his attention to his own person of interest. His eyes caught the boy standing next to the flirting men awkwardly, gaze flickering between the ground and his hands. 

He was trying very hard not to stare. Dick laughed softly and walked closer, eyes firmly fixed on the boy. 

He was looking like what Dick would describe as the typical gay boy with short but fluffy, black hair and a white streak in the front, bright green eyes, a perfectly straight nose and the most kissable lips he had ever seen. 

The boy was wearing black Doc Martens, black, tight skinny jeans, ripped to a point where it couldn't be considered actual clothing anymore. He was highlighting his pale skin with fishnet tights underneath, the waistband covering his naked stomach and parts of his astonishing abs, but not the shimmering navel piercing. 

And the reason why his stomach was visible, was the loose black crop top hugging his trained shoulders (Dick would not start talking about his strong arms, thank you very much). Dick could only thank him for the white letters printed on it, because–

_ Whose Dick Do I Have To Suck Around Here To Suck Some Dick? _

It was silly enough to be adorable in Dick's eyes. 

"Nice to meet you, I'm Dick." 

On any other day, Dick would have slapped himself for such a bad line, but given the crop top the boy was wearing, Dick felt it was the only way to introduce himself properly. 

The boy stared down at him for a moment, obviously speechless about Dick's blatant attempt, but then his lips curled up in a smile that reached his eyes and it was  _ gorgeous _ . 

"You owe me twenty dollars for that," he said with a husky voice that made Dick shiver, "because I've just lost a bet to my friend here. And lemme tell you, that was bad." 

Dick choked out a laugh and watched the boy grin before fingers wrapped around his hand in a firm grip, shaking it softly. 

"But it's still nice to meet you," the boy continued and leaned down to Dick, lips touching his ear. "I'm Jason. What's your name?" 

"It's Dick," Dick repeated but smirked at Jason's confused look. "Short for Richard. But everyone calls me Dick." 

"So I really found a Dick," Jason concluded with a wink and sucked his bottom lip between his teeth. 

His eyes darted to his friend for a moment, who was already occupied with kissing and touching Conner heatedly. It wouldn't take long for them to disappear and get their fun going. And Dick as well as Jason knew that. 

They fell into an awkward silence for a few moments, just watching their friends until Conner had the decency to take the redhead's hand and pull him away, throwing a final smirk at Dick. 

Dick rolled his eyes and looked up at Jason. 

"Wanna find something more quiet?" he asked and tilted his head, looking at Jason expectantly.

Jason's smile crumpled for a second. "I'm not– I don't actually do the whole sex or hookup stuff," he tried to explain and pulled at his top. "This was just– it's a joke. I mean, I'm flattered that you would, but I'm not into the whole… thing." 

"But you like pizza, right?" Dick raised his brows. "And movies? Preferably action or crime, but I'd also watch Disney. But I might cry at the end." 

Jason nodded slowly. 

"Great." Dick smiled sweetly and offered Jason his hand. "Let's go then. Maybe we even get to a full movie before I fall asleep on the couch this time." 

* * *

Jason had just finished showering and walked into the bedroom but stopped in the door when he saw Dick's wide grin. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and another towel styled to a turban to prevent his wet hair from dripping onto the floor. He was just about to get dressed for their friends, but Dick's grin made Jason pause. 

"Conner and Roy will be here soon," Jason began and blinked at his husband. "Whatever it is… please let me get dressed first." 

"I've got the perfect piece of clothing for you then," Dick replied as if he had just waited for that, then he held out a familiar piece of clothing –

" _ No _ ," Jason gasped at the cursed crop top in Dick's hands. "That can't be real."

He thought he had burned or thrown it away. Or maybe just lost it somewhere far, far away in a hotel room on their first actual vacation together.

"Where did you find that?"

Dick shrugged. "In the closet. Must've been hiding in there all along. I can't believe we didn't take it to our honeymoon because we thought it was in Europe." 

Jason shook his head with a desperate laugh and rubbed his neck. It was hard to believe that it had only taken one crop top to find the love of his life. Since he had entered Dick's apartment that first night, he had never really left it again, always sleeping over until Dick had asked him to move in. 

Eventually, Jason had proposed. They had married two years ago, right before Conner and Roy had finally made up. It was almost hilarious that two couples had found each other that same night, just because of a bet and a silly sentence printed on a top. Jason couldn't complain though.

"We need to frame it," Dick decided and put the top in his nightstand to keep it safe. "No one will ever believe that this is how we met if we don't keep it behind glass as proof." 

"It's so stupid," Jason protested with a blush and bit down on his lip. 

Dick looked up at him with a smile and within seconds, Jason was caught in a warm embrace, lips tenderly kissing his face while he closed his eyes and sunk against Dick's chest.

"It's just the right amount of stupid to fit in our love story," Dick murmured between the kisses. "I wouldn't have hit on you without that shirt and I still don't regret it a single moment." 

"You're a sap," Jason told him but held Dick close, leaning down to give his husband better access to his face. 

"To whom you're married to," Dick reminded him. The next kiss met his lips and Jason sighed, just a little bit. He loved Dick's kisses. 

"I love you," Jason whispered and opened his eyes just enough to look down at Dick and see the warm smile spreading over his lover's lips. 

"I love you, too, Jaybird," Dick replied and kissed his mouth a second time, tenderly and sweet and just perfect. 

"Now get dressed. Roy promised they would bring Lian, too."

When Dick pulled back, Jason was almost disappointed. But he shouldn't be, he told himself, because they had the rest of their lives left. He'd found his other part, he'd found the one. And he would never ever let go of him again.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, please leave me a kudos or a comment to let me know! <3  
Find me on [tumblr](https://drunkraiinbow.tumblr.com/) and talk to me about the boys!


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